Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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