it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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