You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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