I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
