Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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