I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
