There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
why do cheetos always look like penises
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I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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