So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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