you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
