I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
