You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize