Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize