Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize