I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Drunk is not a location!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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