i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
