I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
