dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize