I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
