you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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