i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize