The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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