Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
