I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
