She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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