Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
