The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
