I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
