I skipped work to stalk him.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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