we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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