I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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