i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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