he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
