ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize