could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
