as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
