We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
