I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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