Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
tonight lets celebrate not being married
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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