Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
