The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
