Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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