I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
