Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
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