There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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