Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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