How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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