You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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