You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
