I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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