Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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