he puts the penis in happiness.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
