I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
they need to just BURY HIM!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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