i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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