he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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