good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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