I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
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Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
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things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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