HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Randomize
