Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
