Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I checked into jail on foursquare
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
