Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
they need to just BURY HIM!
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
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