ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
