my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
