I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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