She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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